Every second changes everything...

        I cannot stand the status quo. However, there are certain things that I can accept as such. I can’t stand that I was born and raised as a third class citizen all my life. I can’t stand that I can’t seem to get out of the same lame ass apartment with my mother that I’ve lived in for twenty-two out of the twenty-five years i’ve spent on this earth. I can’t stand that there are situations and scenarios that prevent me from living the life I want to live. I’ve attempted to better myself, and I believe that I have. However, my failures have brought me back to the status quo. In life. In love. In beliefs. After numerous chances taken to redeem my failures, all have either ended back where I started, or in regression. It was then where I realized that it was futile to even try anymore. One can try for so long before they break. In accepting my failures, I’ve learned to appreciate myself more.

      Now, there are people out there that believe that certain things should be done a certain way because it was instilled in them that it was how it was to be done. However, in these times, the status quo doesn’t offer much reward in the risk. Take education for instance. You were always taught that college is the path to go on, as not having a degree leaves little options for employment. Oh, you better go to college or else you’ll be flipping burgers at mcdonalds or working retail all your life. My, my. How the times have changed and the tables have turned. I know people with law degrees waiting tables at Applebees. I know people with Masters working inventory at Wal-Mart. As much as I hate myself for not staying in school, I know now that I made the right decision. I’m a blue-collar kind of guy. Always have been, always will be. Now, all the white-collar folk look down at me, but I accept that, knowing that my paycheck is bigger than theirs. I also take solace knowing that I can always work in the private sector, while they have to scour through ad listings daily while their funds run dry between rent, bills, and that ” Oh I thought it was a good idea at the time ” student loan they took out.

      Love. As you may recall in Thoughts of a Reformed Player, I’m off my shenanegans. I’m still off those shenanegans. It’s not about that, but how my failures in relationships have bettered me. Most of the relationships I’ve been in that ended, it seemingly was always my fault. I’ve always took a step back to reflect on the time that I spent with that person, because I usually took a different approach than I did with the last one. It’s pretty easy for an emotional woman to heap the blame on a guy at the end of a relationship, since they’re all teary-eyed and it pulls on the heart strings of the guy. However, I tend to look past that. There had to be something that the both of us weren’t doing right. I’ll admit my faults, but you have to admit yours. And there-in lies the problem. Because of that, there are some ill-feelings I still harbor, because of lack of closure. It’s as if they want me to hang around because it makes them feel like they’re torturing me. It’s gotten to the point where I refuse to change myself for anyone to appease them. I am who I’m gonna be. If you can’t accept that, then it’s not going to work anyway, so i’m not even gonna try. I’m not gonna try changing you, so don’t do it to me. As Jigga said in a song, ” Either love me, or leave me alone. “

      Growing up, I was taught to think a certain way. I was taught to believe certain things. However, as I got older, I found most of the things I was taught to believe were a buncha bullshit. Now, my thought-patterns and the things I say aren’t popular to most people. It’s just a conjunction of the first amendment, and calling it like I see it. If you get butt-hurt about it? That’s your prerogative. What I will ask is that you do not preach about your beliefs and how mine are wrong. Debating either leads to a compromise, or nasty tastes in people’s mouths, and more often than not, it’s always the latter that happens. It’s a reaffirmation of how small-minded people act when their way of thinking is being threatened. Take for instance, I was reading about how hybrid trucks aren’t really worth it. Personally, making hybrid trucks is akin to making a big badass biker drive a bicycle wearing his mother’s skirt. It’s just not right. And for all of those who think buying a hybrid car is saving the earth? Ride a bicycle to work or where ever it is that you have to go. All your doing is lining toyota and honda’s greedy little pockets, because that’s all it boils down to. Greed. If you don’t think so, then how come you’re paying between an extra 5-15k for a hybrid version of a car that works just fine as a V6? For an extra ten miles per gallon on the highway? I’ll just sit here and wait for the arguments to begin.